the confusion

 I'm caught in a storm...So strong i can't even decide whether it's on the inside or on the outside. tossing around in my bed every night i wait for the call which might cause me to change my course. May lead me to newer revelations. But do i want them? Do i really want to divorce myself from life as i am living it?I have erected huge walls around myself. But i don't know if i want to guard me or to keep everyone else out. I don't share myself with anyone so easily.and i feel life certainly would take on a different hue if i let these walls crumble around me. After all, who are these walls for?

To you, my

life is so confusing at times. I feel it's such a responsibility to be alive in this world... and i donot mean just staying alive. A thousand people are waiting to unsettle your life, and you cannot do anything to stop them.Nor share your feelings with anyone for fear that they might use the information against you when the time is hostile towards you. I was also bugged by these thoughts, this is an effort to send out my confusions and doubts to God who is in the heaven created somewhere in space, I hope somewhere in the cyberspace so that He gets my messages.I trust You to listen patiently,even if You do not write back or reply. Simply listening to others sometimes is therapeutic for them. I hope You listen.